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It took a long time to get the wording right. I didn't want to presume too much, but I still wanted to let her know that I was thinking about her – that was an understatement. That kiss as we parted, the warmth of her body, and the scent of her as I carried her out of the ship demanded more and more of my thoughts. Perhaps it's the natural order of things that as I became more secure in my new life, there was more room for pleasurable thoughts. The photo on the web site of Cecilia on the castle wall, hair slightly mussed by the breeze, eyes sparkling with joy became my screen saver. "Dearest Cecilia" became, "Dear Cecilia" which became, simply "Cecilia." Finally I settled on "Dear Cecilia" and went on to apologize for having taken so long to contact her, but also assuring her that she was "frequently in my thoughts" which I didn't like either, so I settled on telling her that I often thought about her and our meeting on the Concordia and that I was saddened that our time together was. In reality, Alex was not Jim in almost every way. Jim is a very unusual man. Strong, trustworthy, funny, and the best lover and conversationalist I've ever known...so leaving him was never a real consideration. I always knew how lucky I was to have his adoration. It was just fun feeling the freedom I had to actually move in with Alex if I wanted to. I had options, serious options for the first time since I married Jim. You learn a lot about yourself, things you would never know, without really having "options." It was a very important growth period for me. I realized Alex was purely "new relationship energy" and that type of thing never lasts forever. It's best to keep that in mind ladies...if you can. I'm so grateful I did. Alex wanted more. He wanted to own me. That would've been the death of our fun and I knew it. Plus there were little annoying things about Alex that constantly reminded me why I loved Jim so much. Those little references enriched my marriage in ways that never.
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